Impact on LGBT

Domestic Violence in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Relationships

Domestic violence in the LGBTQ community is a serious issue. Many people believe that if domestic violence occurs in LGBTQ relationships, it is mutual fighting and that it does not reflect the same power and control issues as seen in opposite gender relationships. Yet, these power and control issues are existent regardless of who the partners are.

A common question about domestic violence in same-gender relationships is how it differs from domestic violence in opposite-gender relationships. The abuse itself is nearly exactly the same whether the relationship is between same- or opposite-gender people. The differences are primarily related to being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer.

Many LGBTQ people who are abused do not realize that they are being abused or do not label their experience as abuse because they know too little about domestic violence amongst LGBTQ people. And even when they do understand they are being abused, they don’t know what to do or where to turn for help and support. Since one-quarter to one-third of LGBTQ people experience partner abuse, it ranks as one of the most serious issues facing the community, comparable to discrimination and HIV disease and other health issues.

Seeking services and support for partner abuse often means that an individual has to come out. This is another reason LGBTQ people are reluctant to use formal support services. The abuser can use threats of outing the partner’s sexual orientation or gender identity as another abusive means to control him/her.
Courts do sometimes take away or withhold custody rights for children because the parent is LGBTQ. Fear of losing custody of children, therefore, is another barrier to seeking formal services. Also, the abuser can use this fear as another abusive control tactic.

The LGBTQ community within the area may be small, and in all likelihood everyone the survivor knows will soon know of their abuse. Anonymity is not an option, a characteristic many heterosexual survivors can draw upon in "starting a new life" for themselves within the same city.

In addition, homophobia still exists, as well as bi- and trans-phobia. LGBTQ people affected by partner abuse can be reluctant to seek service from mainstream organizations, including the police, courts, and health care, for fear of being abused by the system. This can range from discounting or minimizing their abuse, to inappropriate service, to refusal of service.