Impact on Children

Domestic violence affects every member of the family, including the children and teens. Domestic violence affects children and teens both directly and indirectly. They live in homes where they witness and experience domestic violence, threatening their safety and sense of security.
Family violence creates a home environment where children live in constant fear. Children and teens that witness family violence are affected in ways similar to those who are physically abused. Children and teens are at greater risk for abuse and neglect if they live in a violent home.

Each year, thousands of American children and teens witness violence in their homes. Witnessing violence is a risk factor for long-term physical and mental health problems, substance abuse, and the possibility of becoming a victim or perpetrator of violence. They see or hear more than we are aware and children often express their emotions with actions. The following are a list of reactions and emotions that children from violent homes are likely to experience:

  • Feeling responsible for the abuse   
  • Constant anxiety 
  • Guilt for not stopping the abuse
  • Grief over the loss of a parent
  • Fear of abandonment
  • Need for attention

 

Positive influences can help children overcome the negative effects of living with domestic violence. Here are some ideas for concerned adults:

  • Allow children to talk about the violence. Listen to their feelings without judging.
  • Make sure children understand that the fighting is not their fault.
  • Be a role model. Show by your example that there is a better way to solve problems than by violence.
  • Hold violent adults accountable for their violence and its impact on their children. 
  • Encourage cooperation and respect in children’s relationships with other children. Discourage fighting and teasing. 
  • Do what you can to establish a predictable daily routine. 
  • Create opportunities for age-appropriate fun. 
  • Watch and listen closely for signs that a child is being directly abused. Be prepared to respond. 
  • Devise a code word so that children can let trusted adults know when they need help, without alerting the abuser. 
  • Find additional support for children. Many domestic violence programs offer counseling or support groups for children who have witnessed or experienced violence. Teachers, clergy, relatives, and others can also be helpful.